Holy Cow its been over a week

Well I thought that this was going to be my daily outlet, and here I am over a week since my last post. I think this week may have been better if I had taken the time to write out what was going on. This week was filled with births, sadly deaths, company take overs, annual reviews and my first physical.

Monday a close friend of mine had her second son, so I took the first born for a few days while she was in the hospital. I was instantly a mom of two boys. It was fun and tiring. Tuesday, I had an appointment for a physical. It was the first one since I was in high school. I all of a sudden feel the need to know what's going on inside my body so that I can be prepared for anything. I have a Lucas to raise so, I am paranoid of getting something that will prohibit that. Oddly enough, the Dr says a lot of the symptoms that I have been experiencing are stress, anxiety and depression related. WELL LOOK AT THAT WORLD! I am stressed, filled with anxiety and a touch of depression. Somehow I kinda knew that already. I am still awaiting the test results, but the Dr. is pretty sure I am stressed to the max and need to get a little help.

After the Dr., appointment I rush to pick up both boys and head up to see the new baby. I should of listened to my gut instinct about this and dropped Lucas off at Nanny's. I have never tried so hard to control anything as I did those two boys. After I get both of them out of their car seats, I wrangle both of them through the parking lot into the hospital. They both take off running, and I go flying after them. Laughing and giggling at the top of their lungs, they love this place. It totally creeps me out, and the look I am getting from people, WOW. People, I wanna say, only one if these boys is biologically mine. I did not have back to back babies! I get them in the elevator, and silence!! The door opens and off we go. Poor Kelly she has no idea that two boynadoes are headed her way. The boys immediately want on the bed to play, Kelly retreats to the couch. The boys push every button, including the nurse call button , make the bed go up and down for about an hour it seems. Lucas kept saying, "momma, Everett put a bug in my ear". Evertt is his friend from school. He said it over and over and kept putting his finger in his ear. After a while I decide to ask one of the nurses of they could take a look in his ear. Well she saw something blue, which sends panic though my body. What do I do next?? She look in the other ear and sees the blue thing in there too. I wanna cry. Then I say, "Well he has tubes could that be what you see?". YES she says. YAY!! However, she thinks the one ear's tube maybe coming out, I can deal with that later. I sigh a sigh of relief. After that I decide it's time to head home, with my boys. Pizza and cake await these little men at the house!

Thursday I was back in the same hospital under extremely different circumstances. The passing of a baby. My cousin lost her baby at about 30 weeks. It was expected, but non the less, a very sad event. This is why I hate hospitals, the sadness that over rides joyful experiences cuts me too the bone. It truly shows you just what a miracle conception and birth really are and just how lucky I am to have a healthy, happy, perfect little boy. I am truly blessed and it really makes me ponder taking the gamble for another little one, I think Lucas maybe an only child. As I type this my almost 2 year old, is doing his dinosaur puzzle telling Mike what the dinosaurs are...REALLY my almost 2 year old can tell us what dinos are what. I love him!

I had a pretty good review, and Friday we got the news that our company merger would be complete that night. Monday will be a whole new world, I feel secure yet anxious. I think that I am truly fine in my position. Just the unknown is never a great feeling, and when the future of your financial independence is hanging in the balance its never a secure thing. I decided to go out for a friends birthday Friday night, even thought I was physically and mentally exhausted from the week that I had had. I am glad I did, although I felt very old, I had a fantastic time dancing with my two friends. I bet no one in that place will ever see Lady Gaga the same after they witnessed our dancing! We were FIERCE!!!!! However, I have never seen so many jello shots and beer pong participants in my whole life. Who knew that those things flourished here in South Tulsa.

This week will be filled with lots of news, excitement and hopefully a clear head for me. Lucas will be 2 next week, so we have his party this weekend. We also have a funeral to attend, which will be the hardest thing this week. Monday will be one for the record books, but I have no doubt all will make it through and never wanna look back at it. This will be the second week, since I have been put on "happy pills" so we'll see if it really helps. Keep your fingers crossed!

Until tomorrow....